11:43 PM - 28.01.05
Tomorrow
Every so often the intuition will just show one a picture and it seems imperative to follow through on whatever is illustrated. Last night, all of a sudden, I got a picture of myself wearing some clothes I haven't used for the last year or two. Most of what I've been wearing is black or blue - easy to mix and match and hides the dirt well. I've mentioned before that purple and even shades of pink are beginning to creep into the hidden layers. Today the colour was cream - both the under layer and the sweater. The way I thought about it was that it could do no harm, so why not. Set everything out last night just as I always do. Got up this morning to find George II had pulled that outfit off the hanger and used it for his bed. He loves his mom's clothes. The short of it was that I found myself rushing around trying to re-iron the one piece that was all crumpled, wondering in the meantime why I just didn't choose something else. Still made both the earlier bus and train, so no harm done. Read more of the book "Shake Hands With the Devil" - it is really an absorbing story - and nearly missed my stop as a result. Glanced up and thought I saw the brother from the last assignment in the seat across the aisle. He got up and left at the stop before mine - the one at which I used to get off. Probably just my imagination since he never arrived much before 8 am even on a good day. It was just after 7 by my watch.
My cell phone rang just after 7:30 am. My supervisor calling to respond to the questions I emailed him the evening before about records retention for financial documents. He felt that it should be referred to our liaison, so it didn't appear that I was trying to insert myself between her responsibilities and the staff. I hadn't thought of it in those terms, because it seemed to just be a request for information, but it made sense. Because I don't play the politics willingly, I tend to take things at face value without questioning or thinking about hidden motives. I've mentioned before that some people just don't seem to want the information I'm gathering catalogued and that they have tried a number of strategies to stop or slow things down. Maybe the next step is emerging - that breaking down lines of communication by creating friction or perceptions of motives that don't exist.
It used to be a favorite tactic on some of the volunteer committees I worked with. When they became effective vehicles for communication or for change there were always people trying to insert themselves in order to use the name and resurces for their own purposes. Sometimes it was straight forward. The person in question was selling something and wanted access to the list of contacts the group had, using it's name to gain a hearing that otherwise wouldn't be granted. Things like that often undermine the credibility of the legitimate group, but the predator doesn't really care. The next level is those who want to co-opt the funds raised for other purposes - like lining their own pockets. Volunteer groups tend to be very trusting and open. That is their strength, but it is often also their downfall. It never ceases to amaze me how people feel it is an invitation to steal from the most vulnerable segments of society. One of the highest profile cases in the past few years was of one very powerful spokesperson for a group finding housing for the homeless. It turned out a huge amount of the funds they raised ended up paying for her lavish tastes. Another example I've written about was of the husband of one of the women who gained a lot of power and influence in the education community. He used her connections to further his own fund-raising, posited as for education, but again only to end up lining their pockets. And on it goes. One of the ways that people like that get away with their behaviour for so long is that they target anyone on a committe who questions their behaviour. They will create the illusion that the person doing the asking is working against the best interest of the group. They create that sense in others by massaging small misunderstandings, that they are often the source of, into big conflicts between other members of the committee and the person they see as a threat.
That was how my supervisor seemed to be reading the souce of the question and he may have been right in his assessment. He asked me to go tell the finance manager that she needed to run her decision by the liaison. When I did so, she became very defensive and acted as though it had all been a misunderstanding about her intent. The stronger the reaction to something minor that offers no threat or criticism, the more likely that there was something hidden beneath the surface. Maybe my perception of her reaction was not correct either, since I had taken on the intepretation of my supervisor. Don't know.
Powered up the laptop and continued on with the indexing. Round about 8:45 am, the financial specialist who sits next to my co-worker tapped me on the shoulder. Me being deep into listening to Smokey Robinson and totally oblivious to the surroundings. The one nice secretary is retiring on Monday, would I like to join the rest of the staff to celebrate with her - cake and coffee in the far off kitchen. I thought that would be ok, powered off the lap top and joined the specialist. There was a lot of laughter and chatter and the president of the company made a very short but gracious speech. Because I hadn't been introduced to any one in the company I asked the specialist to name everyone in the coffee room while the celebration was going on. About midway through the recital, my co-worker and the fellow who has been bothering me walked in together. The fellow and my co-worker tried at first to stand at each of my elbows, so I just moved closer to the specialist and asked questions about the people she was naming for me - what was their role - so as to be polite, but not be forced to be engaged in any conversation with them. Both he and my co-worker seemed very annoyed by that, but I wasn't all that concerned. I've been at this assignment for a month and I genuinely want to be at least polite enough to address staff by their names when we chat. I've chatted with their president several times without knowing who he was and I guess that it's fortunate that I haven't put my foot in my mouth or offended him during that time. My co-worker walked off just as the specialist was completing the review. I just stayed five more minutes so I could thank the person who appeared to have organized the get together before getting back to get that deadline met.
Got back to my station and tried to power up the laptop. It wasn't connecting to the power source at all. The on button seemed to be jammed in some way. Took it apart and reassembled it just like the other laptop that I'd returned to my supervisor the day before. Finally the end of a pen placed just so, allowed the connection to be made. Once it was on I opened what I thought was my folder. No contact lenses still and very small text meant I misread the folder name and had opened the one my supervisor had shown me was his. I realized my error when the folder opened up - empty of all data. There had been several spreadsheets in it yesterday when he had shown me how to use the system. Now I was really upset. I know that I only worked on my spreadsheet yesterday afternoon and this morning, but still the data he had had gone missing. What had I done? I emailed him immediately with the details of both th powering up issue and the missing data, deciding I might as well bite the bullet and let him know the bad news right away. I had asked him to take a copy of everything he had in there on disk before I left his office yesterday, but he said he didn't need to - it would be safe at this site. I wish now I had taken a copy, but I didn't want it to appear that I was in anyway tampering or accessing his work. I don't know what is confidential or not, so it isn't my place to touch anything. Oi. After I'd sent off the email, I sent him a voicemail as well because he had told me he would be offsite when we spoke first thing. I know he checks his voicemail regularly.
Went on with the data entry in my own spreadsheet. At about 11 am inserted the disk I'd been keeping a backup on and clicked save. An error message said the disk was corrupted. I wanted to be certain I had that backed up so I powered the unit off again, then went to the supply room. When I returned and tried to power it on again it wouldn't start at all. Not even the pen trick helped. After 10 minutes of trying, I decided that the switch might break if I tried to force it more assertively. Tried calling each of the inhouse techs a couple of times to see if they could help, but neither was answering their phones. Oi too. Nothing for it but to use the client's network account for me, even though my supervisor hadn't wanted me to do the data entry there yesterday. That was what he said when he asked me to switch to analysis of the collection while waiting to trade the laptops. I don't like going against my supervisor's instructions, even when he doesn't explain his reasons, but the only other option was to do nothing until he called and I wasn't certain when that would be. Continued indexing on the PC unit at my workstation until he called at 12:45 pm. Could I take the laptop to their office as soon as possible? Yes of course. Powered off the company PC but it wouldn't shut down - is Mercury retrograde? Don't know, but I finally turned off the power bar connecting to the AC outlet. That did the trick. Left the building at 1 and was back at my desk at 1:30 a mochachino in hand. Stress relief, don't you know. Because I can't wear my contacts, I couldn't see the menu board to order. The young woman serving me laughed when I explained my problem and allowed that she often had the same problem with her contacts. She didn't mind helping a fellow blind person out. Well at least one person understands me, right?
Back at work continued on with what I was doing until it was time to leave for my optometrist appointment. Sent my weekly stats to the co-worker just before with a cc to my supervisor, letting him know I'd calculate my hours when I had time at home. My coworker came by just after that and said thanks "even though it didn't matter to him whether I provided them or not - I would be the one in trouble if I had forgotten". At the last assignment, I had called him or enmailed him at home on the weekend to get his information when I was writing up the reports, but I guess it doesn't work in reverse. Oh well. Ran out the door hoping I could make the next train, so as to be on time with the doctor. Halfway down the block, someone called my name and said it was good to see me. Close up I realized it was my liaison from seven assignments ago. The one who used to give technical lessons to me and my supervisor at least once a week during our weekly reports. I liked working with him. He was easy to get along with. He asked about my supervisor and said he would give him a call. He hadn't known about the merger of the original data management company, so I don't know if he'll be able to track him down or not. I'll give my supervisor a heads up when I send in my hours, maybe.
The best news of the day was from the optometrist. I haven't been to see him for several years. Can't really afford to, except when I need to replace broken contacts. After the exam he told me my eyes had actually gotten better. Bonus - that isn't what one expects to hear as one ages - especially not about eyesight. I'll gladly take any good news I can get. He said he would order me a new pair and that they would be in, hopefully by Tuesday next week. Day after payday means I have enough to cover the expense too. Three good things in a row. I'm on a roll.
I got home and crawled into bed. The day had felt stressful and besides I had only gotten a couple hours sleep the night before, because I waited until after my sons had left to write my reports to my supervisor. Around 9:30 the phone rang and it was number three son. could they come by - he and his girlfriend - to visit the kitten she's adopting? Sure. They were here within a couple of minutes. We talked a bit about how their lives were progressing. She did her first day back at school today and was really excited. Two years of classes that she is looking forward to. About 10 pm the phone rang again. One of the other Returning Officers in the city. I answered dreading the thought it might confirm the potential of an election being called. He seemed just to want to talk shop, but the first question he asked was if I was going to quit the post. Not quite cetain why he would ask that, but whatever. Then he asked where I was working. Said he had worked there at one time about 12 years ago. According to the documents I'v been working on, this company only gained a foothold in Canada about six years ago, but maybe I missed something. I'm not certain exactly what was going on in his mind, but I guess it was nice to touch base. Went back to talking with my two visitors and then writing to you dear diary. Why the intuition about the dress today? Still don't know. Maybe there was no reason other than that I need to get out of a rut with respect to my appearance. Hard to say. Good Night dear diary.
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