Get your own
 diary at DiaryLand.com! contact me older entries newest entry

9:53 PM - 10.01.05
Half Full
Well, the reason for shopping on Saturday instead of Sunday could have simply been intuitive awareness of the weather patterns. -28 C on Saturday, but -36 C on Sunday. Wicked windchill. There is a sound of crackling on the rivers when the ice break-up comes. That generates massive grating chunks of ice, accompanied by flooding water the temperature of a walkin freezer. Animals and any human with a lick of intelligence run in the opposite direction. That's what the wind sounded like as it beat against the house, but it brought no promise of Spring to come. Soyal is nigh though. It wasn't the reason for the early post yesterday though. The cats, my youngest and I ate celery and watched "Elvis from the Waist Up" that evening. No animals or Scorpios were hurt in the process, although the cats were bemused by The Voice.

The other thing that might have been the cause of the hackles on the back of my neck still being raised could be the oppsition right now between Saturn and Mr Sun. Karma - the chickens coming home to roost. Mind you, I thought I tried really hard to be good this solar year,but Saturn is sort of like that policeman in uniform coming toward you on the street. You know you haven't done anything wrong, but maybe stepping outside the lines of the crosswalk really is badder than one thought. "Paranoia strikes deep, into your mind it will creep" Don't remember the song off hand.

The feeling still hadn't gone away this morning when I got into work either. It colours the way one interprets what one sees, right? Were people really unusually tense or just sleepy, or cold, or tired, or focussed on work. Hard to say. My co-worker wasn't in today and that was good. He has been really cranky lately. I know he's been out applying for other work again. That will make the second time he walks away from the same assignment. He seems to be almost looking for a cause to blow up or lay blame on something or someone else. On Friday he asked me the same question three times about something that needed to go into the report. Gave him the same answer each time. He still wrote it up the way he wanted it to turn out against all evidence to the contrary. He was upset when I wouldn't validate what he had written. He can write whatever he wants, but not in my name. What he wants isn't in the clients' best interest, but it makes it easier for him. Not the way it works. The scientists need to be able to find their data in a way that makes sense to them in a timely fashion. He certainly wouldn't appreciate an operation he needed being compromised, because some records person decided to file his information under the name of the attending physician instead of his own because it was easier for them to file - one physician instead of 100 patients.

That little diatribe he had about not getting mad - just getting even, he went off on just before the end of the day on Friday also left me uneasy. I asked him to warn me if ever he felt he had to get even with me before he lashed out. From the examples he gave, I think he sees people offending him when all they are doing is responding to other issues he isn't aware of. Doesn't sound as though he goes to any trouble to see if there are reasons that have nothing to do with hurting his ego either. Maybe there is something in the workplace he is taking offence to so as to subconsciously gives himself the "moral ground" for taking another job. Why not just say he'd rather do something else? My supervisor added to that feeling when he called to let me know he would be by tomorrow to meet with the two of us "just to be sure we were all on the same page". I'm just indexing one form of record - what other page is there?

On the plus side, not having to worry about how I chose my words and minimal interruptions today, meant I really could focus just on the data. Good thing since it was very picky and detailed. Like trying to unravel several delicate necklaces that some how got all tangled up together. There were the odd questions from some of the female staff again though. One wanted to know the exact ages of my two grandchildren. How come? Another wanted to know exactly when the boys' Dad had left us, even to the technical time of departure versus the actual time he stopped caring for our family. Why? Maybe they've just never really had much contact with single parents and felt it was an opportunity to learn about the reality of our lives. One of them rode partway home with me on the C-Train. Turns out she's pregnant with number two child. she wanted to talk about schooling and parenting. Common concerns and values. Find the common ground Grasshopper and "watch the doughnut not the (w)hole" Burl Ives.

previous - next

about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at DiaryLand.com!

web stats