11:11 PM - 08.01.05
Intuition
I woke up at about 11 am today. I hadn't gone to bed until 4 am because something was tugging at the back of my mind demanding attention. When I can't quite reach into the subconscious as far as I need to I play Mah Jonng or do logic puzzles. Doesn't make sense in some ways, but distracting that critical layer of the brain by feeding it treats sometimes allows what it is blocking to come out to play too. Worked to some degree but I need another session yet.
Anyway when I woke up, there was this very strong intuition that I needed to go buy groceries today - sooner is better. I groaned and rolled over in bed. The body thought it needed more sleep and the mind was of the opinion that firstly it was too cold outside and secondly that activity was slated for tomorrow. In it's estimation there was no logical reason to change that decision. However the intuitive mind demanded I get up and get going becoming stronger the more I resisted. Fine. I decided to get up and do the basic Saturday morning drill just to drown it out. Didn't work. The command just became more urgent. When I tried to sit down to read the newspaper the cats all piled on top and refused to budge. Also fine.
One thing I learned long ago was that certain types of intuition are always accurate even when there is no confirmation of that until days or months later, while at other times the reason becomes clear within hours. For example, one very frigid day years ago when my sons were small I started digging out all their warm clothes and creating a "nest" of blankets on the sofa in the front room. The heat was cranked up much higher than I would have normally chosen yet I still started putting those extra layers of clothes on the boys and myself while cooking up a storm in the kitchen as well. I wasn't even aware of what I was doing until suddenly, just after sundown, all the light went off and the furnace died. A violent snowstorm had blown in without much warning and had downed our powerlines. I don't recall how long we went without heat but I just tucked the boys into the blankets and fed them supper. Some level of the brain knew about the outage but also seemed to know that we could sit it out - as long as I had prepard for it. It wasn't until the furnace died that i even realized what i had been doing. Just odd but not necessarily all that uncommon an occurence in my life.
Thinking about that time and wondering what the reason was this time I gave up, got dressed and prepared to follow the urgings that were still very strong. As I was dressing I was giving my youngest a list of instructions to follow for when I was away. He checked the weather channel for me to see if a blizzard was imminent. As I was walking out the door he noted there were no storm warning but that the current temperature with the windchill was -28 C. Didn't need any intuition to tell me that though with a blast of Arctic air encompassing me. The snow had been falling steadily since last night. In places it had drifted to about calf high, lucky I had put on my warm up leggings. It was so cold that drivers were actually stopping for me to pass well before I reached the crosswalks. They never do that - guess walking in this kind of weather is one way to get respect. I was about the only person out walking this afternoon - one man passed me, his groceries in hand heading home. I almost asked him if he had had the same intuition then thought better of it.
Hit the clothing store first to get pantyhose and found that everything was on sale. Walked out $40 later with 4 pair of hose, a summer dress, a bathing suit and a blouse. Don't know what possessed me with the bathing suit, but the intuition was still talking and insisting. At $5 I decided I could afford to listen. Hope it means somewhere nice and tropical in the near future. I do have a bathing suit or many already but bikinis after six rounds of pregnancy are just a little too skimpy, even if I did get back to those washboard abs I had when I was a young mom. Stretch marks just aren't meant to be shared with the rest of the world thank you very much. And the washboard abs? Yeah well next question and next lifetime too.
The grocery store was surprisingly busy although everyone in there seemed to be suffering from a bit of brain freeze, you know, the body goes into shock from the temperatures and the mind is left out to wander on it's own. I bought a coffee at the deli and decided to just take my time avoiding all the lost souls wandering unheeding up and down the aisles. After last weeks' pre-dawn jaunts in much frostier conditions I actually felt quite comfortable - well relatively speaking. Those car driver people? No stamina and no grit. Got home about two hours after leaving intact, still no wiser to why the inner prompting, but doesn't really matter either. Maybe tomorrow will tell the tale. We'll see.
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