10:36 PM - 01.01.05
Resolutions - Of course
I was dreaming about frogs last night. Almost knee-high and deep kelly green into the bargain. They seemed to be listening and responding to the conversation of a group of people around them who were celebrating some sort of accomplishment. It was mid-summer's eve. The distressing thing was that their legs were already prepared for eating - kind of like a chocolate Easter Bunny. You know how you can bite off it's ears, but the rabbit image is still intact. Well, we were eating the frog's legs and they seemed to want it that way. I don't know how they moved after that, but they seemed to be able to come and go as they pleased after the fact too. Suddenly a little girl in an organdie dress - white with purple trim - came to the screen door of the porch/house where the group of friends were having their get together. The child said that her father wanted her to ask the new neighbours if they - we - were good enough to live in their community. She wasn't rude or aggressive. In fact, it was as though she was nothing more than a vehicle for her father's activity. He hid or stayed remote through using her persona. It was so disorienting I woke up. My dream dictionary says that dreaming of frogs is good and dreaming of eating their legs is better. I guess that's reassuring.
Today was much better dear diary. No reason for it, but I checked my bank balance again. Even though it is the weekend, there was a deposit from the employment insurance claim. Not all that I'm entitled to receive, but enough to cover the mortgage payment, buy groceries and a bus pass. I paid a bit on my credit card too, just for good measure. Being the first day of the New Year it seems that each choice should show one's intent for the next 365 days, right?
The deposit was oddly timed and I wondered if that was intentional too. Maybe the agent was going out of her way to help me by ensuring the payment would be recorded for 2005 instead of 2004. Maybe it puts me in a lower tax bracket so that I get more benefit when I file at the end of February. If I've calculated correctly, I should receive just enough on my claim to catch up most of my bills. That would mean any tax refund would help me get back on my feet. Can't complain about that and it would definitely be a kindness on the agent's part. Lesson #1 and # 1001 - never pre-judge someone. I did and I'm sorry about that. Maybe when I communicate with the person at the data mangement company I should keep that in mind. We all project and read into other people's actions what shadows we carry or remember in ourselves or from our previous experiences. I need to remember that and I'm grateful for the lesson on this particular day.
Wandered over to the drug store to pick up a few essentials, since I knew I could afford it now. The weather is still frigid, but no wind and a bit of moderation in the temperature made the walk pleasant. The only real danger was the sheet ice on the roads. I had to concentrate every step of the way and even then there were a couple of instances where my body went into "prepare to bounce" mode - just in case of course. I was very well padded with several layers of protective clothing, so it wouldn't have been a big issue unless I fought against the fall. Another subtle lesson in some ways. Sometimes one can't control their circumstances, but they can control their response or perception of what is occurring. Right?
Other ways to show intent today. Belly danced with passion for a couple of hours, meditated with peace and serenity, cuddled with sons and cats with affection, cleaned with attention to detail, did my paperwork diligently, read with discernment - I hope - and gave thanks for all the good in my life. This web address was one of the ones given in my ezines today about the missing people from the Tsunami still being sought by loved ones. On the news tonight, more stories about the homeless and their plight given the deep freeze we are experiencing. Sharing one's blessings as well as counting them matters - even if you only have a little to give. One small pebble can turn an avalanche if it is in the right place at the right time. One lit candle can help someone find their way home. Time now to go do some stair climbing and find something to read that entertains or challenges the mind in new ways so I don't grow stale. We'll see how those intentions roll out this year.
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