10:46 PM - 16.12.04
Meltdown II
I was so beat when I got home last night that I went straight - mostly - to bed. That tussle with my internet service provider over their security package lasted until 3 in the am and I usually get up at 5:30. Managed that and was on the first bus of the day out of the community, hoping to make up a little more time from what I had lost the day before.
Got a good start on catching up, yesterday, then had to break at 10 for the weekly team meeting. Those are always a bit stressful the first time in any new assignment since one doesn't really know what to expect. Our supervisor arrived about 5 minutes before it started and the co-worker who was my tech during the election slid into the boardroom where I had been working at about the same time. The other co-worker was away at other meetings for his family business. Fine. I had just completed resorting all the data on the shelf in the "new" hierarchy/taxonomy so it felt like a good time to break. Short meeting, but I was put on the hotseat right away. What was in the collection I was working on - details please. So far it appears to be the whole range of records for a company in the type of business they do. Dog's breakfast. No order, rhyme or reason at this point. Some pieces obviously missing where there should be sets of records and some data that should maybe not be on the shelves at all. Typical. The last time the material was assessed was 3 years ago. Since then it has migrated all over the company - very little is where it is listed as being. "Why is that?" Well not having been party to company policy it isn't my place to speculate, but lack of a structure or someone to maintain it might be a good guess.
Discussion turned to the technology that my supervisor tried to sell to me as THE skill to learn to get me to go back to the company that I eventually walked away from. It is being considered at this company. At that point in the meeting he wouldn't even look at me and he was very withdrawn. Obvious he had made assumptions about me and planned future assignments around those without having the courtesy to ask if I was even interested.
When he asked me to start back at this assignment - the one I had asked for instead of the "techie" one - he asked if I could manage it and schooling too. I explained, somewhat reluctantly, that I had been in programs for gifted students for about 3/4 of my schooling and didn't find formal classes very challenging at all. I usually don't admit that fact to anyone, because it often causes anger and resentment among people my own age - sometimes even now. When we were at school my classmates and I were often chased and bullied just off the school grounds. It wasn't our fault that the teachers used to use our marks to tell the rest of the students that their efforts weren't good enough compared to ours. Then I had to try going home and cope with sibs who were chastised in class because they didn't learn as quickly as me. I never spoke about my marks - wouldn't even tell others in my own class what I had got. Too much anger if they were better.
Anyway taking on the "new wave of data management technology" the equivalent of photocopying or faxing as far as I'm concerned, does not appeal at all. With proper training and supervision with repect to placement of documents it is the type of work that a very new junior employee should take on simply to learn about the contents of a record. It offers no other mental stimulation whatsoever. If I'm not learning something all the time on the job I feel as though I'm starving to death. I do not want that work to be any part of my life. There is no challenge in it except for the constant breakdowns that occur in the hardware and software. I quite honestly believe the brother at the last contract - who was seconded to the sisters company by one of the companies promoting this - had intended to "lure" me into working for them. It was constantly brought up by him and his company's people - wouldn't I like to do this full time? Not. Especially not with a group of people who don't understand or care about the value or significance of the data itself.
At the end of the meeting I asked my supervisor if he wanted me to take over doing the weekly reports now that my co-worker at the meeting was done with the contract. No the other co-worker from two contracts ago will be assigned that work. How much you want to bet he'll be allowed to do it on this company's time and be paid for it, while I have never been allowed that luxury. It would be nice to be paid for that just once. After the meeting I went back to doing the indexing and analysis of the data on the shelves for the balance of the day.
One of the big issues again in this assignment is storage of equipment, personal goods, access to telephones and work space - at least for me. The laptop from the data management company that I have told to use needs to be locked up at night, but "there is no lockable storage available". There are several cabinets with locks, but none of those have keys. When I asked I was told it as impossible to have the rekeyed. Funny, I just had almost a whole suite of furniture rekeyed during the election and it didn't cost all that much either. I'm supposed to give the laptop to one of the secretaries at the end of each day to lock in her cabinet - she keeps the key. No security cards being issued for either of us remaining on contract - not enough to go around for regular staff. Fine. No phone access - I'm back to my cellphone again. Fine. Personal storage space is the one shared drawer in the suite of drawers where the other co-worker sits now. During the day he sits right in front of it so I can't gain access unless he chooses to let me in. He has a stack of boxes in front of it as well. Fine. I am supposed to be "mobile" because the data I am working with is all in two other rooms, but I don't have a chair or a drawer to call my own either - again. I do have a network account and e-mail this time, but no station to work from either. Fine. Deja vu all over again.
It kind of hit me this morning when a series of events occurred. First up the secretary was late arriving so no key to get to the laptop. Fine I had about 45 minutes of document analysis I had set aside for the beginning of the day. She didn't get in until 45 minutes after that was done. Tried to start work on the data that is "priority" in the boardroom only to be kicked out just after I got the laptop back so that the one department of four could meet there for the balance of the morning. Fine I had some things I could take with me, but I wasn't given the chance to pull the records I needed out of the boardroom because the meeting was scheduled to start just after I was informed of it. I also needed some answers about the handling of that data first being that it was only the second full day of working with the system. Got blown off because my two co-workers were too busy socializing/talking shop with each other and some of the women in the office.
By 10:30 I'd had enough. It felt a lot like being back in the previous contract whether it was intentional or not. Give someone work to do then withhold the resources to actually do it. Flashbacks to the last assignment starting to set in. PTSD in DSM IVese. Add in that my back, hip and neck were really painful and I just didn't have enough energy to put up with it. I told the two co-workers that since I wasn't able to get anything done I was going to see my chiropractor. Maybe the space and resources could be made available to me when I returned in about half an hour? I don't know that they even caught the nuances of the request.
I was still obviously upset when I returned, because nothing had changed except that I was pain free. I think something must have twigged by then, because they were just getting off the phone with my supervisor. "Just timesheet stuff you know". Sure, I still don't have one of those to fill out either, but it's due in on Tuesday. So, Why call me back in to a contract that doesn't allow for me to be there in the first place. I love the data I'm working on, but it really isn't useful if I can't get to it, is it? Dumb as it sounds, all it does is create a situation that jeopardizes me financially. I still haven't received even the acknowledgement that I will be paid Employment Insurance for the time I've missed since ending the last contract. Two and a half month now of absolutely no income coming in. It is one week to Christmas and I don't have enough to cover bills let alone anything else. "Skinny Christmas" said my friend the astrologer. More like starvation I think. The interruption by taking on this contract means I can't spend the time during the day on the telephone getting the information and stats I need together so I can get the funding I need to go back to school, but turning down a job offer when applying for Employment Insurance means they won't even consider your claim any further - and rightfully so - but I don't think this is a legitimate offer of employment. If it isn't, then what was the purpose of the exercise? I don't know. I guess I just don't trust my supervisor anymore or the other people in this mix. I feel so frustrated right now that meltdown isn't far away. At least I have company though. The woman in the cubicle next to my co-worker was crying for about the last hour of work today too. Seemed more like family stuff though. Maybe tomorrow will be better. .
On a more interesting note in the news this story about a special week of performances close to my birthday Inanimate_Objects Seems to be master puppeteers and mimes from all over the world. sort of like the Fringe festival held up in our sister city of Edmonton in the summer. Suits Aquarians' profile to a tee I think. Then there was the news that the province will not allow a full public judicial enquiry into the voter fraud scandal from October. Just one of their retired civil servants questioning some of the people involved - behind closed doors. Wonder what else is hidden there.
�
�
