9:13 PM - 18.09.04
Grumpy was also a Dwarf
"Maybe there is nothing holy there any more." was the closing comment of Alexandre Trudeau in the documentary I watched tonight about the condition of the people in the Middle East. One of the things that really bothers me is when I hear the words Jihad or Armageddon uttered by those who then call it down as the will of the almighty. One can almost hear the drooling as each speaker contemplates their "victory" as a result of the murder of people who are exactly like them. Almighty what? Dollar, mammon, profit, power, control, oh yes, and bragging rights - that most jeuvenile and venal of all motivations. Certainly not the will of the Creator, who as the character Azim in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves noted "God created all the wonderous flowers in their many colours" as an analogy for explaining to a child who asked about his skin colour being different from the Britons. I don't recall that "Thou Shalt not Kill" came with one codicil or "except for" in it. All three institutionalized religions are used by those vying for dominance there and they are all in league with evil - there is no God in any of them. Remember those dire warnings about listening to or following false prophets - well those who use the word god and murder in the same breath qualify - don't you think?
It was a busy day today. My sons coming and going and going and coming. My oldest is still reeling from the issues that he and his partner have had to cope with and it's hard to watch knowing that I don't have the resources to help. Parenting doesn't end at 18 - it becomes even harder as all one can do is stand aside and hope for the best. It is even harder when it is something that is done to them by people in positions of power over - where the power is simply money. No moral, legal, ethical, intellectual, spiritual or other authority just meaness of spirit and selfishness. Crabby aren't I.
I don't really have much else to say today I don't think. Number two son looked at the work the plumber had done and muttered things under his breath. He listened to what I had experienced at work with respect to my cell phone, CDs, diskman and personal belongings and muttered some more. His partner took one look at the newest kitten and automatically fell in love with her. It's too bad my son has such severe allergies to cats or I think I wouldn't have too tough a time finding that little one a good home. I emailed a couple of friends checking to see if they knew of any leads Icould pass on to the one worker from the election who is still hitting brick walls. We're supposed to visit tomorrow so I've pulled together some names and other resources she can try. Sometimes it's just a matter of timing isn't it? She deserves to have a decent job and I don't understand why she isn't getting a hearing. Could be that colour thing I guess. This city isn't kind to people who are deemed different in any way - unless of course they are already rich or famous, despite our heritage festivals and such. Window dressing. Yes I know - cranky.
When I was talking with my supervisor yesterday he got quite upset when I told him about the teaching duties the liaison wants me to take on. His take on it is that she won't be using our company's services if that is the path she chooses. Well that is true but it was apparent that was her intent when she told the new rep from the data management company that she might cut the noncontract she has with us short if she decides to hire staff from the company that was just bought out by them. I suggested based on some things I've seen on site that I wouldn't be there past the end of October. Almost an identical scenario to what occurred during the first contract I worked there. You can check back in the posts I made in October and November that first year I was writing dear diary. It was brutal and there is nothing that suggests to me that the liaison has changed her behaviour at all since then - she's just become a bit more subtle. Another reason I didn't want to come back to this assignment. My supervisor became quite annoyed at that point and accused me of being paranoid. Could well be, but he wasn't and isn't the one who has had to deal with the effects of her behaviour directly. I don't think he even remembers that first contract and what happened. I think that's why I'm so crabby today. I just don't seem to be able to get through to anyone anymore. Don't know what the answer is - hope that the response from the international agency becomes more firm. Beating my head against a wall just isn't fun any more. Crabby. Think I'll go and see if sleeping on it helps. Maybe tonight there will be that break through dream that reveals all. Maybe not. Good nightdear diary.
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