Get your own
 diary at DiaryLand.com! contact me older entries newest entry

7:52 PM - 05.09.04
Shake
Not a lot to say today dear diary. I spent some time with my Dad just a bit of a drive and lunch is all. Talked about work issues and family ones too. Although he didn't say so I suspect he had found out that something was really upsetting me. Actually it's a cluster of issues, but I only discuss the ones that I want to of course. We haven't spent any time together since mid July so it was really good to see him looking well and rested. From what I'd heard from number three son, who works with him, he has had a challenging time this summer too so I reciprocated by prying into his personal life too. That's what family is for - right?

He has been spending a lot of time helping his neighbour whose husband died in June. Turn about is fair play. They had gone out of their way to help my Dad after my Mom died. I am very thankful that he has been so lucky in having such great people there for him. Apparently some of her family and perhaps a sister or two of mine object to their continued relationship, but that is none of their business. Nor is it anyone's right to dictate to other family members how they should live after a death or a divorce.

I have people ragging on me because I have more than one cat, but if not for them and my youngest I don't know how I'd get through some days. The cats know instinctively how I feel and they interact with me based on that awareness. Yesterday when I was very distressed, Pasha realized one of the kittens - Star - was heading my way mewling with a complaint. She grabbed the little one in cat fashion and pulled her away. The other mom cats set up a guard on the door to the room I was in and made certain I was left alone. When I was ready, I was snuggled and cosseted by those kittens and moms and that helped too.

My youngest had his own stress reaction to the news as well and dealt with it differently than me. The cats interacted with him in a way that helped him deal with things too, yet it was different than what they had done with me. They show anxiety because, I think, they don't understand the source of our distress but they have focused on our needs instead of their own. My youngest felt safe enough with the cats to openly show his feelings and that allowed me to talk about it with reference to his behaviour with the cats as a result, without making him feel put on the spot or bullied into a discussion he might not have been ready for otherwise.

I doubt there is anyone among my friends or family who could have read me better, and there is no one other than my Dad and my sons that I will even discuss it with for the moment. Let's face it each person has their own way of addressing their emotional and psychological needs and it is no one else's business how they do that with the proviso of course that they not harm someone else. I know a lot of people who find their greatest solace in their gardens, in books and in nature instead of in other humans. Other people can only find solace in talking or being among other human beings. None of those choices is wrong or right except in the context of the needs of the person themselves.

When I was working at the hospital decades ago, Dr Kubler-Ross, who just passed away a week ago, published her ground breaking work called "On Death and Dying". It was a study she had undertaken over a long period of time, observing the stages of dealing with loss and grieving that are the norm in most people. It was and is a powerful piece of work that anyone who can should read for themselves. Her comments and observations have surfaced in my mind like life rafts in times of distress. Sometimes all one needs is that one reference point just to get through the worst of things. Just that one point of stability can make all the difference between self-healing or self-destructing. I am very grateful she tackled what had been a taboo subject back then. It has opened a lot of doors for me over time.

On a lighter note these are the stories and points of interest I came across today while on the net. As an addendum to my comments yesterday about going to listen to the Tibetan Healer speaking in our city I found this conference in England and pilgrimage to sacred sites scheduled for September 11 Spirit where he is also presenting along with a lot of other thinkers whose work resonates strongly with what I believe. I'll be there in spirit since I can't manage anything else and that is fine. Canada has sent a lot of healers and spiritual guides to China and east Asia over the span of our country's history and some of them have had major influence on the development of those countries. This story is about what is being done in one country to recognize the contributions of one of those Canadians MacKay. This story from the New York Times highlights theeffect on business profits when employees are overstressed and over worked Stress. One would think enlightened self interest would lead management to change the working conditions of their staff to get the best level of productivity from them instead of doing everything in their power to undermine their workers' ability to do their jobs, wouldn't you? Instead they cling to the notion that their stockholders greed is more important than good business management tools. Wonder if the stockholders have any idea how much that is cutting into their profits. Anyway dear diary, I have a new belly dance tape to try out and I need to visit the stairs for a workout too - restaurant food to shimmy off you know.

previous - next

about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at DiaryLand.com!

web stats