8:27 AM - 19.08.04
lion`s den
I was running late this morning, dear diary. I`d gotten busy with housework the evening before and didn`t crawl into bed until 2:30 in the am. My alarm goes off between 5:30 am and 6 am. Hard as I tried, the body just wouldn`t move any faster. At least it didn`t until I caught a glimpse of the clock on my way out the door. Ran the block to the bus stop. Made it to the corner and the bus zipped past me. The stop itself was empty and usually the drivers won`t stop or wait if they see you running. This morning`s driver did both. New guy - I think we should have a good autumn if he stays on. I don`t think anyone ever tells the bus drivers how much of a difference they make in our lives - for good and ill.
Upstairs in the boardrom at work started working on the filing - piled high to the rafters. Things are gearing up for the winter season already. Staff coming back on are raring to go - maybe. Our workshop was to be at 10 am, so I just focussed on getting all the data sifted and ready to go. 10 am came and went so I started back on the technical analysis aspect of the assignment. Not supposed to, but with only a few minutes to kill there wasn`t anything else reasonable to do. The brother said there would be delays - just keep on working. 11 am rolls around and the other contract from the e-service provider walked in to the boardroom. The trainer had two boxes of work for her to do, did I know where he`d put it? He still hadn`t arrived. We chatted for about half an hour as I took a coffee break (not the norm)with her then went back to my analysis. The trainer finally arrived at about noon. Training today? Apparently not.
There was a fellow who had been sitting and talking with the brother a good part of the morning who turned out to be the contract who had originally adapted the software to this company`s requirements. He is the one who I "e-mailed", through the company IT person, the spreadsheet of all the files lost in cyberspace. It was made clear that I wasn`t welcome in the conversation about the database when I arrived - my physical presence ignored completely that is - to ask about the other contract`s work. He and the trainer deemed that they would need at least two hours to get things running. Famous last words. Never did see the software guys again today. Walked out into the hallway about a half hour later. Apparently there was a luncheon provided for all the staff, except me and maybe the other female contract, to celebrate the new acquisition. The co-ordinator did come by at about 5 minutes to one pm and said she gave me permission to go get some of the goodies that were left. I think that was because one of the scientists noticed me going to the elevators then returning with a wrap for myself to eat as I worked.
So I called my supervisor to update him about the change in agenda. He was so stresed that I wasn`t certain what to say to him. He often sounds dead tired, but I`ve never heard him sound that overwhelmed before. That tone in the voice just one short of "I give up". Just that "I have no idea how I`m going to get all this done". I offered to help given I was now trainingless, but he said no he needed me to be where I was. That sounded a bit odd, but I wasn`t going to hassle him about it. He said to continue with the analysis even though he objected to me working on it given that it wan`t part of the contract and that it wasn`t being properly compensated either. The brother came back from driving his wife to the dentist at about 1:30 pm and parked himself in the boardroom - his work area now taken up by the two software gurus. He seemed determined to clear up all the paperwork that had been dumped in there when the workstations in the library were dismantled. Piles and piles and piles of the stuff. There were two sets of shelves that were set up so that we could organize a lot of the paper there. The brother seemed extremely stressed as well, but he allowed he was fine. I just commented that I didn`t want to have to explain to his son what was so dangerous in our work environment that it caused his Dad`s death. Not pretty but I made my point. He calmed down considerably after that. He set up a desk for himself in the workroom while I continued using the light/drafting table for layig out the documents I was looking at. Companionable silence for a while.
The other odd behaviour was from him. Deliberate efforts to brush up to me every so often or touching my hand - never quite outright, but ambiguous enough to leave me uncomfortable. I`ve noted his devotion to his family so that can`t mean what it might otherwise, but I wasn`t certain why he kept doing it over the past few days. Maybe he just needs reassurance, being that he is feeling very stressed. I don`t know. My personal policy on the job with respect to all males is absolutely no touch or body contact at all, nada. No double entendres or terms of endearment either. I call my supervisor "sir" and I mean it. He says he doesn`t like me doing that, but I think he does. That`s as close to personal as I get. No ambiguity, no misunderstandings or unreasonable expectations -right?
At about 5 to 4 pm (I had only taken half an hour for lunch) when I knew I would be homewardbound shortly, I asked him for clarification on the anti-earthquake engineering of Japanese pagodas. That response went on to a lecture on the architecture of the World Trade center which had been an innovation of a Japanese architect, then to a rant about patents and intellectual property in the music industry which I compared to pharmaceutical companies stealing the intellectual knowledge of aboriginal tribes all over the world, destroying their habitat, and making huge profits at the expense of those they stole from. He wasn`t having any of that - not the same thing because it hadn`t been touched by any technology. From there it was on to world religion and politics. Him speaking and me alternately trying to get a word in edgewise and biting my tongue - very hard. A lot of what he said sounded almost fundamentalist at times. Doesn`t jive with his behaviour to date - look at what someone does not what they say. All the odd things today almost seemed like a test to see what would happen if all my triggers/buttons were pushed together. I kept visualizing the astrological transits right now - Mercury and Mars together (direct and very verbal action) in opposition to Uranus (bolt out of the blue, lightning bolts) I decided that the brother was going to hold the place of Mars/Mercury in my mind and I was going to hold the place of my own ruling planet - Uranus. I said almost nothing, but what I did interject was just verifiable facts. Tried to keep all emotional response out of the picture. No being drawn into the battle on Mars terms. I succeeded to detach except for a couple of small slips of the lip. Given that my natal Mars is in Aries - shoot from the hips/lips - I think I did pretty good. Spoke with number three son about it when I got home - I needed someone to help me examine it objectively and he said the same thing I thought. Testing me seeing how I would respond under pressure. I always revert to parent when I in smother or corrector mode or teacher when I am in educate or enlighten mode. I aimed for the latter and hoped for the best.
Checked my e-mail when I got home. My financial officer had responded to my e-mail from the night before. Could I send her the info about the workers? Yes, I know how thorough she is so I had no doubt she had erred but she was bothered by the failed payments. She took one look at the names and realized all the people involved had worked two particular polling day postions each. Originally the software had been programmed to only allow one, but when we were told to double some of our hired staff, that restricition was removed and we were told that the software would be recoded to allow for people to be paid for both jobs. Obviously that hadn`t happened, so some of my best workers have been penalized. Anyway, my financial officer said she had paid herself some extra hours knowing that this had been a problem the last two elections as well. Paperwork not being properly processed or mess ups in the payroll software. She came by and picked up the necessary tools from me and said she would deal with it. Can I pick good workers or what?
Anyway time to cuddle with the cats dear diary, I`m beat and tomorrow I have to go back in to the lion`s den again.
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