10:35 p.m. - 2004-08-11
Treats
Last night, after writing you dear diary, I ordered groceries on line. I've been craving fish and fruit the past while, so that's not so bad is it. I was still feeling really stressed about the rolling files and the constant vigilance that seems to be necessary in the library. I won't go in there anymore without being certain that there are two or three witnesses about that can intervene on my behalf when whoever keeps unlocking the lundys. So my solution at 2 in the am when I couldn't sleep anyway? Belly dance a go go. Well ok first the sensuous workout tape, then the a go go stuff. "Too Much" is pretty conducive to the strut and the hip drops, while "Shake" works really well for camels and maia circles. When they pray or meditate Sufis and Hasidic Jews both dance - the greater the grief or stress the more so. I think they're on to something. Getting out of bed this morning was hard though.
Part of that was fatigue and part was just fear. The liaison has gone on holidays and I can't begrudge her that. When I left at about 5 pm last night she rode down in the elevator with me. Going to take one of her daughters to a music lesson cross-town. When I arrived at work - about 7:20 in the am - I found notes from her on my chair. She'd just left two hours befor I arrived for work. Other thing nagging at me was that I haven't heard from my supervisor. I know he's swamped too and I don't want to add to his load - it's just this contract still rattles me and I need to hear from someone I feel safe with once in a while. Yeah I know, have some whine with that cheese you had for lunch - big baby aren't I.
Finished up some paperwork when I arrived, sent in the signed company policies I'd read, then talked with the brother when he came in. "Remember to go log on the the liaison's computer. She just called and said she'd arranged it with IT." Um yeah. The first time I worked here, someone was always messing with our company's data. One of the first entries I ever wrote two years ago, was about an inicdent where I watched my co-worker save some work we'd done together on a spreadsheet at the end of the day. Next morning selective portions of it had been erased - and we got in trouble for it. Oh well. She left the password she wanted me to use sitting on my chair under some other documents. I don't know how that is going to play out. I spent the morning on her computer doing the research she had requested I tackle first. Her brother came by a few times looking at the results and discussing the various scenarios that might be causing data to be lost after it had been verified as being captured electronically. Could be one of several things or a combination. We'll test out all the logical possibilities first. There were a couple of even stranger discoveries as I was researching the problem so that just added to the puzzle. I usually love puzzles and in any other contract I'd likely relish the opportunity to solve one. Just edgy this time.
Went out walking with my friend from a few contracts back at lunch. She had gone to a sweat lodge healing ceremony about a week before and was telling me about its effects on her. She did seem a little more at ease with herself. She said that she had lost about 8 lb/3.5 kg off her abdomen since then. Now that might be worth the trip all by itself. I've lost the weight everywhere else -well ok I could lose a little more of the top but that's a different story - but even the belly dance camels and all just aren't helping as much as I'd hoped there. Anyway time went quickly as we went up the hill and over the escarpment then across the Island. Shakespeare in the Park today? Romeo and Juliette. Our city police have a horse patrol in the summer, two of the police officers were sitting at the crest of the amphitheatre just watching the play and the crowds. Good looking pair they were - Arabians I think - their riders weren't bad looking either. Through the market on the way back both of us looking for silk and rocks. Yeah I know that's odd. There's a Tibetan shop that has some beautiful silk blouses - no money but I can savour their craftsmanship can't I? My friend asked why I was being so tight with my money so I explained that my washer had imploded during the election meaning I got soaked - pun intended there - and now I was going to have to have a plumber come in to fix a leak in the bath tub. How much you want to beet that's going to hurt too. From the Tibetans shop we wandered over to the Andes (South American) shop we both love then over to The Son of the Pharoah - made certain we arrived there with only a little time before we both had to be back at work. Sometimes resisting temptation needs all the help it can get. Belly dance scarves and amber jewelry all were calling my name.
Back at work the liaison's office had a very faint odor of cigarette smoke. Odd, even when the liaison is at work I have never seen her smoke. The reason I noticed it is that it takes very little smoke when I'm not feeling well to trigger an asthma attack - and it did. Anyway, I set up a spreadsheet to cover off what I had learned when I was researching the lost data problem in the morning. Tried to email it to the brother and the consultant I'd been instructed to report to with the information. Turned out ther had been no arrangements made for me to have an e-mail account. That was a relief, since I was afraid of what might happen with it given what has gone on before at this workplace. Talked with IT and they set up a folder on one of the shared drives so the brother could access anything I wanted him to see and the tech very kindly wrote up the e-mail and sent the spreadsheet off to the consultant.
The brother and I needed to speak on a regular basis during the day to co-ordinate our efforts. It was obvious it was really upsetting the fileroom co-ordinator. She kept racing up and interjecting totally irrelevant comments into the mix and came into the liaison's office several times - "just to make sure everything was okay with me. Oh by the way what are you doing? Do you really have to work in here?" Well yes I don't have access to a computer anywhere else and besides that that is what the liaison insisted I do. Being in her office with all the confidential documents I know are there does not make me feel very safe -it means I become really vulnerable if someone is determined to cause me problems.
I needed to get another inhaler for my asthma on the way home - someone had opened my backpack and taken the last full container out a day or so ago. I had one canister left but with very little left in it. Forest fires and the heat (smog) are a very bad combination for breathing well. It was hot and I didn't want to go shopping but I promised myself a treat if I was a good girl. I had something choclatey and filled with caramel in mind. Yeah I know that really helps with weight loss. Anyway got in and had to wait in line of course. Got stopped in front of the discontinued sale items and found a yoga tape I really wanted for about one third the regular price. Well I guess it was meant for me - right? And it didn't cost much more than the chocolate bar. Got home and another treat was waiting for me. The tape of the reading my friend the astrologer had done for me two weeks ago finally had arrived from Texas. One mystery solved -it was stamped all over with "opened for inspection by Canada Customs" and there was even a note inside explaining that they had examined the contents. So much for privacy legislation eh? Astrology is such a threat to our countries. Anyway I fell asleep listening to the dulcet tones - well ok maybe that Texan twang isn't dulcet but it has that certain je ne sais quoi. Oui? Now its time to check out the yoga tape so au revoir mes amis - a demain.
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