11:28 p.m. - 2004-02-16
Cats and Dreams
I was dreaming of working on a future project with one of the people I work with now. The work seemed to be very intense and was being carried out locally. Suddenly it became urgent that we travel overseas. We were sent over to Iran. I saw the group trudging up a mountain path with donkeys carrying our packs. I - the dreaming self - asked if we weren't supposed to be in Iraq and the very firm answer was no - this choice is the correct one. It's odd, but I felt safe with the co-worker I was traveling with even though the situation seemed quite dangerous.
It is also an odd synchronicity that I saw an article in the paper next day about Terry Waite, the British representative from the Anglican church who was abducted in the Middle East many years ago after devoting many years to brokering peace among those fighting nations. I read his account of his kidnapping and time as a hostage in Lebanon - "Taken on Trust" - about six years ago. He was held for almost five years and had been told he would not be allowed to leave the country alive at one point. Apparently he has decided to return to Lebanon for a visit. I'm not certain I understand his reasons, but he must be feeling a need for closure at a guess. Don't know.
The cats have finally forgiven me for deserting them. The first day home I got the cold shoulder when I walked in the door. Then Mr T and Ficus - the warrior - both swiped at me with their claws when I tried to pet them. Big, reproachful saucer eyes were the norm with the other cats, their heads down and slinking away when I came near. Hadn't felt that much guilt since I had to leave the boys when they were little. Next stage was the clingy one. Every time I sat down there was at least one cat on my lap and woe betide me if I tried to get up before they had had their fill of cuddling. When I walked there were one or two wrapped around my ankles so I tripped frequently. If I laid down my bed was instantly full of felines too. Keyboarding was impossible. So was talking on the phone if I was foolish enough to sit down - just not allowed I guess. Things have just gone back to normal today thank goodness.
This story was interesting in today's e-zines Shakespeare. A marathon reading of Shakespeare - might be entertaining at that. Next up was an obit about Saskatchewan Dr. Humphrey Osmond whose claim to fame was his work with Aldous Huxley. groovin. Apparently he fed him mescaline and LSD as an experiment. And you thought all those stories came from his imagination. Well yes, I guess they did with a twist. Anyway they coined the term psychedelic. OK so it doesn't take much to entertain me.
Spent a lot of time in the early morning hours parenting. My youngest had a flashback from the bullying he experienced all through during junior high. Something one of his brothers said triggered it. In a way I think it might indicate progress because he obviously feels safe enough now to acknowledge the very strong feelings he had at that time - something he hasn't been able to connect with up until now. When you emotions are frozen in a moment of time, it is nearly impossible to move forward with your life in a healthy way, because those feelings are always in the background tripping you up. He talked for a long time about specific incidents. Prior to now denial had always been his first response. If you can name something you then you can start to address the power it has over you.
Spent a couple of hours with my assistant today too. He wanted to get his time sheet squared away. Other than during elections, we only get paid after we submit an invoice for our time after an assignment is completed. As you know dear diary, we often still don't get paid for a couple of months after that. The way things are going we may even be in election mode before we see our wages for this past week. We talked about management issues in general. In addition to his stint in the US army stationed in Iwo Jima, he worked in the transportation industry for decades. Lots of experience with logistics and trouble shooting. When we talked today I was patting myself on the back for finding someone with as much experience as he can offer. The sense of perspective that comes from long years of management should help too. Too often in elections the infinite number of details that have to be addressed can be overwhelming. Some one nearby who can help staff keep focussed on their primary priorities and tasks can only be a bonus. I'm getting tired thinking about it myself so I think I'll just head off to bed for the night.
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