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11:16 p.m. - 2004-01-16
Segues
Migraines seem to have become the theme of the week. A lot of the other people I talk with have had at least three in the past week, just like me. Odd as it sounds, that is comforting in a way. It means the source of the problem has to do with the chinooks pulsing overhead instead of some internal disorder. The other good things are that the weather has been near record highs for every day this week and barbeques are being fired up daily. No cooking per se, and almost no snow or ice left to deal with.

Work was long today. I just focussed on trying to complete everything I need to get done by the end of Monday. My supervisor was in talking with my liaison in the morning wrapping up this project, but also negotiating over another one similar but much broader in scope. I'm supposed to attend my liaison's presentation to her supervisors about the company records management problems on Monday. My documentation of risks arising from mishandled paperwork will be part of the discussion, so I guess I'm needed in case technical questions arise.

My supervisor asked to talk with me after and said that there was a lot of positive acknowledgement in the company of the work I had done, even while he was taking me to task again for protesting when he cut the hours I had claimed working on technical analysis versus filing. He did say that there appeared to be more work for me if this next contract was approved, but am I expected to accept the same work and salary conditions again. Between this contract and the last one that was in the downtown, he really hasn't shown much concern about the physical circumstances I've had to deal with.

Went out with the other contract at lunch. We just went to a quiet little deli and had some soup with our whine. Venting to each other again. Something seems to have been said about performance to the staff in the records center and I think they see it as a result of our presence rather than their own behaviour. C asked me if everything was documented in my reports - well yes the technical aspects are because that is why I was hired. I came upon J later in the day going through my daily journal where I track the tasks and numbers that become the stats I send in once a week. The other contract said that R seemed to have been taken to task where her treatment was concerned too. Again, the choice of how to behave was R's to begin with - sometimes consequences arise from those choices. Don't know.

Anyway the other contract had called her agency and talked with the owner about me this morning. She sits across from R's office and maybe heard some of the discussion between R and my supervisor about they saw my role in the next contract. She has often said she doesn't think I should be treated the way I am with respect to wages and lack of tools to do my work, so maybe that was what had bothered her. After she had finished talking with her boss he asked for my resume, so I sent that off tonight. Received another e-mail tonight too from the recruiter I started talking with in the summer as well. He was letting me know about two workshops I have really wanted to attend, being offered over the next week when I'm supposed to be finished this contract. If one isn't earning, one might as well be learning. Never know when it might come in handy. What was even better was that it told me he still has me in mind workwise. I can't figure out how or why things seem to be working out, but my intuition still says everything will be alright in the end. After the talk with my supervisor, I needed those two positives to balance things out.

At the end of the day I *-+got to talking with another specialist who I'd worked with in another company. She was stressing about her young teen daughters. I was telling her comfort stories about how they turn into nice people after they are done with the 14th year based on my own experiences with my guys. It was an echo of a talk I'd had on the walk to the train the day before with one of the scientists about his two pre-schoolers and his fears about parenting teens. Sometimes it helps at the end of the day to be reminded why one is bothering to work anyway. The focus should be on the people you care about, not on the petty politics and power plays that one has no control over anyway.

On the train ride home a request to trade one toonie (a $2 coin) for two loonies ( a $1 coin) by my seatmate so she could use one of the carts at the grocery store, somehow turned into a five way conversation about perceptions and culture clash. The woman in front of us coaches adolescent boys in a soccer league. In an area where so much of the population is newly arrived from Europe, Asia, and the Middle East the passion that is usually reserved for hockey and football is seen equally in little league soccer. Some of the fathers from other cultures simply cannot get their heads around the idea that their sons are being ordered around in public by a woman. It is hard to comprehend their difficulty given that most of their childrens' teachers are also female. I guess the "manly" sports are where they draw the line. I noted that I had heard just as many comments coming out of some our homegrown Dad's about women's lack of fitness for certain areas of endeavour; just the lines in the sand were different based on what the men in question saw as off limits for us. That took us into workplace issues until our stops were reached.

Stopped at the grocery store on the way home since the cupboards were bare - again. Just finished going through the checkout when my oldest son wandered by. He had been over to visit his brothers, so they sent him to fetch me. Quite honestly, I didn't know if I was going to be able to hold up until a cab arrived, since the day had been such an up and down roller coaster, so the timing was perfect. He and his brothers headed off, after unloading everything, to go celebrate number 5 son's birthday with him - the "manly" in the sports bar thing - well except for my youngest. He got the job of looking after my grandbabies. They all seemed to be worried that I would feel deserted. Ummmm, let's see empty house, comfort food and my bed. Nope no problem here. However, it is time to go do some housework and look after the cat family then I can call it a night.

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