10:25 p.m. - 2004-01-14
Sick Day
I still feel awful, but I went back to work anyway. With just three days left in the contract to complete everything asked for, I'm just barely going to be able to make it and only if I can set the sequence of tasks. The reason is the same as it has always been. Each time I open up another record, it seems it opens up another can - or two - of worms. Ok for fishing adventures, but not for data management. R came by and said I could work on Monday - after the contract technically is expired - if I wanted to make up for the time I missed yesterday. That was very nice of her; the extra income would be greatly appreciated. That is too, as long as it works for my supervisor. I don't see why it wouldn't - he said he didn't have another assignment for me yet.
It was odd about my supervisor in a way this morning. While I was working I suddenly had a picture flash into my mind. I could see him strapping a sidearm on under his jacket. He was preparing to rush off somewhere, as if he had just been given some news about great danger of some sort. When I was an at-home mom, I often babysat for other moms while they volunteered and then they reciprocated. It was the only way we could afford to volunteer at the schools, since none of us had the money to pay for child care. That way we also knew we were leaving our younger children with people we trusted. In two of the families I baby sat for, the fathers were undercover policemen. The sidearm I saw my supervisor put on in my "vision" this morning was exactly what I remember seeing some days when the dads would come by to pick up their little ones. There was one day that one of the fathers came to the door in his "street persona". I didn't recognize him and the gun just visible under his arm scared the daylights out of me. I stood there arms akimbo, about to tell him no one was removing the kids from my care, when his two children started jumping up and down doing the pre-schoolers dance of bliss that is common when a parent arrives to pick them up. "Daddy! Daddy!" I did a double take and could see Daddy starting to laugh at me. Well, I was just protecting his babies right? Besides I was about 7 or 8 months pregnant at the time (when wasn't I, come to think of it) so I blamed my airheadedness on that.
Anyway back to the work thing. In addition, I think R took a look at all the new material that has come in for handling in the past two days - there's about 25 linear inches of straight filing or file creation that has to be addressed just for one of the three collections of records I have been taking care of.
Rode in to work with one of my friends who had gone to Florida for the holidays. She just started back to work yesterday. Said the weather had been cold for this time of year and that she had only been able to spend a few days on the beach - poor dear. She succumbed to that flu going around and spent two weeks being sick on her holiday, so I do feel sorry for her for that. She hadn't been able to see a lot of her family for over a decade and was really looking forward to the time with them. Can't do that if one is vomiting most of the time. We chatted about the volunteer work I had said I would do for her organization - just clarifying details - worrying about copyright issues, that sort of thing.
I went out walking with the other contract at lunch - couldn't eat because I'm still to queasy. Venting again - it's a difficult line to walk. Frustration has to be expressed sometime, but confidentiality and the caution about speaking out about others' work behaviour in a negative fashion have to be taken into account too. There is no doubt we both are dealing with the same barriers to getting our work done, because of the same factors. That is why we have opted to talk with each other - it won't go any further, but at least one doesn't feel so isolated and vulnerable about it. Probably false security, but there isn't much else we can do. We have each spoken with our supervisors at our agencies a number of times about our concerns now. She's got two weeks to go before she leaves for Mexico - it is really visible that the stress is starting to wear her down too. Oh well.
Tonight rode the train home with another friend in the industry - same kind of concerns expressed. Just venting again. I did caution her a couple of times about her comments. The trains are full of ears and one never knows who or how some things will get back to the people you work with. Just not a good idea to be too blunt no matter how truthful the comments. Anyway time for bed - I still feel yucky and I need my nap. Night dear diary.
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