2:59 p.m. - 2004-01-01
Resolutions
My favorite TV show when I was small was "The Twilight Zone". Why? Because it asked and answered the kind of "what if?" questions that ran through my mind a lot. The ones that made grown ups squirm and change the subject. You see I don't think I experience "time/space" reality as most other folks do in our culture. They're Newton, I prefer quantum. Both have validity and usefulness, but linear just doesn't work for me very often. I'm very comfortable most times just accepting the difference and quietly going my own way, but sometimes when that butts up against the majority - as in conform or pay the consequences - I pay the consequences then wonder what is the matter with me. I felt much better about myself today though when I read this op-ed piece by Professor Greene, a math and physics specialist from Columbia University in the New York Times. The last four paragraphs on the third page describe what I experience as reality as opposed to the "norm". Thanks for the New Year's gift professor. TwilightZone
He has a book out called "The Elegant Universe". I'll have to see if one of our second hand book stores has it yet. I've already promised to go searching for some material one of my sisters asked for with respect to the female aspect of divinity within the Christian faith system. Yes there is that - see Carl Jung's discussion of "Sophia" and the Holy Ghost.
I spent this afternoon counting my blessings and reflecting back on the successes of the year after seeing my young men out the door. Number four son is going on his first "paid for by himself" vacation with a bunch of buddies. They rented a chalet at Panorama resort. I bit my tongue - hard - and smiled and waved, as he headed off with a brand new snow board and helmet to try out his skills in the next four days. He is a tremendous athlete so I'm probably fretting over nothing anyway - right? Number six son headed off with his buddy and his family to see "The Return of the King". They had partied together last night to celebrate his buddy's 16th birthday. As a group they wanted to continue sharing the fun. I think that's great. I was invited to both events, but I still need some solitude to deal with the past few weeks. Between the article I mentioned above and the comments for Aquarians at my favorite astrologer's site Astrofish a lot of comfort was received and I reconnected with the inner strength I thought I'd exhausted.
So the blessings: I have a job and more work to come in the New Year. I still don't have any money, but I know that pay cheques will be coming in for the next while easing the stress a bit. My health is much better and I've lost about one dress size as a result. More work is required, but at least I know I can do it now, a year ago I wasn't so sure. My sons have all grown and shown very promising signs of progress this year. My sibs and my Dad had a much better year than the few previous. An unexpected blessing was the family of kittens who arrived through the exploits of Miss Kitty. Finally, a lot of secrets hidden for a long time are coming out into the sunlight and justice is starting to be administered.
In the latest development, the media is reporting the arrest of a couple of key aides in one of the Provincial governments' offices. They've been using their privileged position for years to carry out their activities of money laundering, drug trafficking, and other assorted abuses of our community with little to stop them. Hope the fabric of their operation continues to unravel so the police can catch all the bad guys. I think they permeate some of the most senior offices of all our levels of government here and in other parts of North America. Will the community be able to absorb and deal with the amount of deception they've bought into? Hard to say. Some of our society's most cherished prejudice's are what have been used to cover up the reality. Manipulation of the masses by their own hopes and fears. We'll see. We're no more immune to that than the Germans were in WW II and they're still struggling to come to grips with that. Will we do any better? I've been watching and waiting for nearly 15 years to see some of this to be addressed. I hope our society's desire to cling to certain illusions about ourselves doesn't override the housecleaning necessary. Enron, Arthur Andersen, CIBC - it's not over yet.
Anyway, three of my New Years resolutions were to resume the yoga and meditation practices that were interrupted when I fell this summer and damaged my hip, to do more volunteer work, and to resume the reading and research I had been doing before this past couple of years took such a round out of me physically. Being more true to my own nature, I guess. I'd better get moving.
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