12:04 a.m. - 2003-12-16
Mondays
I left on the earliest bus for work this morning. I had the cheescake to carry, in addition to my "desk in a bag". I didn't want to have to deal with the crowding on the later busses nor did I want to have to try to run to make a connection with the train, a frequent occurrence, with a cake in hand. The possible graphic, in my mind, would definitely have had cartoon written all over it. Also, I was avoiding dealing with the fellow who has shown so much interest lately. Cowardly, I know.
The good thing was I met my walking partner from the last downtown contract and we rode the commute together. It was great to catch up on how her life has been going. Her family is leaving for Florida next week, to visit family for the holidays. Got home and found I had received an e-mail from my friend in the Middle East. They're going to Florida too, to spend time with one of her sons. Ditto for my friend who works with seniors - a number of her siblings are there. Maybe I'm missing something here, it seems half of the city plans to visit there in the next few weeks.
At work, my liaison, C, stopped by with a print-out of one of the intranet e-mails everyone else received. It was from one of the district offices of the city police. Topic - identity theft and how to protect oneself from it. My supervisor was by in the afternoon and the theme was repeated. He insisted that I store my things in a secure cabinet in R's, my liaison from last years', office. Given that the neighbours who were forwarding their phone to our line back in October (last Mercury retrograde with one to start on Wednesday) started doing a repeat of that exercise this weekend, I'm beginning to think someone really doesn't want me to feel safe. I think I'll take whatever protective measures that are suggested or offered.
My supervisor was in to discuss additional work with R and to rework some of the priorities in the tasks assigned to me now. Some of it is counter-intuitive, but budgets and politics are driving the decisions. I can cope with it - I think. After spending some time just talking alone with my supervisor - in a lobby with thousands of people trekking by - and then alone with my liaison from last time I actually think I like the direction that is being picked out between the "land-mines" in the paperwork I'm dealing with. We'll see. It's interesting to see my co-workers reaction to my supervisor's presence at the work site so often. They seem to interpret it as a form of outside protection/intervention for me. I really appreciate him doing that for me too, he makes me feel safe even when all the circumstances may not be.
I finished up the discussion with my liaison just in time to go home for the day. Found my youngest waiting to watch "Pirates of the Caribbean" with me - we rented it yesterday. The disc was damaged, so I didn't get to see it all, but it was very entertaining. Both Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom bring a lot to their characters. Irreverence and depth both. Maybe I can catch the rest tomorrow.
Napped for a while and dreamt that someone I work with during the week lost their housing somehow and moved in with my family on a temporary basis. They were complaining bitterly about the quality of their bedding. I agreed and apologized profusely, but it was all I had to give and I didn't have any resources or funds available to improve the situation. The sleeping mind pointed out that maybe the person involved should try to help with expenses (they weren't contributing anything toward food or shelter costs) and resources instead of attacking someone who at least gave them shelter. Weird - it's not someone who I am assisting in any way now, so I don't get the message.
Woke up to a phone call from my brother. One of those where you know by the voice it isn't happy news. One of my Mom's cousins, who lives in Manitoba, died yesterday. Sometimes a person's "title" in the play of one's life, doesn't come close to encompassing their importance or value to you, and that is the case here. She was only 10 years older than me and played a prominent role in my growing up and later had some impact when my ex left, having been a single parent herself for some time before. I spoke with her about a year ago. I think she was really tired of the struggle. She just may not have had any more emotional energy left to fight whatever it was that took her life. Don't know, my brother said that the information he had gotten was really sketchy so far. I e-correspond with her daughter quite often, so I'm trying to find the words I need for her and her brother. Her hubby is in the army and last I heard was waitng to be posted overseas after one other tour of duty in Afghanistan. Hopefully he's able to come back for a bit to help her through this. My mom's cousin's brother is one of the cousins I e-correspond with from Australia too. He's on his way over as well. On my Mom's side of the family, the approach of the winter solstice seems to be the exit point for this dimension. Both my Mom's parent died a few days before Christmas, although more than a decade apart. There was a period of time where the approach of the season always had a touch of apprehension with it. That eased for a period of years but I suspect it will be a theme for the next while. Don't know. I think I need to get some sleep. Good night dear diary.
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