11:13 p.m. - 2003-11-28
Alice - not wonderland
It was a topsy-turvy day today. My supervisor had asked me to discreetly take another look at the desk with the locked drawers, that had been brought in for me, just to see if it was at all fixable. Now the fact that I still can't make a hammer and nail work together shouldn't get in the way of the assignment right? When I arrived at work, the first problem arose immediately. The manager of the library was sitting at her desk already - something I don't think I've ever seen in all the time I've worked at this company, either the last time or this contract. She usually doesn't arrive much before 8 am. How does one discreetly crawl under a desk in direct line of sight of someone else. Waiting wasn't optional either, since the desk sits between the kitchen and the photocopier. The highest traffic spot on the whole floor. I decided just to do what I could by trying the drawers again. Still no movement. Took a look at the place where the lock was to be. Looked like it needed one of those hexagonal wrench thingys to fix it - well girls when I was growing up were forbidden to take shop, so I don't even know the lingo. Looked under the desk, with the manager now on her knees beside me, tugging at some sliding mechanism that seemed to be part of the locking assembly and trying to get at least the name of the manufacturer. So much for discretion.
Called my supervisor who said he'd be by in an hour or so. I just went to work on what I had prepared for the day, hoping to be more successful with that process. Looked up about an hour and a half later, headphones firmly in place, to find my supervisor standing there with a bit of a laugh in his eyes. OK so I look strange, but it does mean I get a lot done. He was about to meet with my liaison from last time. He just wanted to see what the remaining workload looked like physically and to check on how I was holding up. I showed him the chemical burn on my finger. His comment was that it looked as if it had started prior to yesterday. I responded that that is when it first was really evident, but thinking on it later, I realized he might have had more knowledge about alkali burns than I gave him credit for. When I worked with burns at our hospital, one little girl came in with what appeared to be a mystery substance on her legs and fanny. Over a period of three or four days it continued to get worse, eating deeper into her flesh. Slowly the pattern of a fabric emerged, imitating the concentration on different parts of the sofa she had sat on. Her parents had used some sort of caustic material to clean the sofa and the little girl had sat on it before the process was completed. She either couldn't communicate that or didn't realize that is what had caused it. How could she know - even the specialists at the hospital were really puzzled for a few days. I thought my supervisor was challenging the details of my story, but he was likely just speculating about the substance and projecting the likely sequence of events.
He disappeared into his meeting and I continued on working. It was one of those days that one feels like they are walking a tightrope though. Because I was up and down between the stacks and my desk most of the day, I really couldn't keep my headphones on much. The result was I got a full blast of the sniping going on between three of my co-workers. One is easy going and laid back, liking to discuss things outside the workplace. That really riles one of the others, who finds it distracting and sees it as personal attack on her beliefs. I don't believe that is the intent, though. The first co-worker can get on one's nerves, because she isn't good at recognizing other people's boundaries, but there isn't malice in her behaviour. The second co-worker and my liaison this time, also don't get on well together. One feels like one is caught in a tinder box with a lit match nearby, when the two of them are in close proximity to each other. Each one seemed to want me to listen to their side of the issues, but that is usually interpreted as sympathizing with "the enemy" by each of the others. Power struggles or personality differences - doesn't matter, the outcome is still the same. I still am at risk of becoming the football that the others use to throw at each other. You would think with years of parenting six children and working in large classrooms, that I would have enough techniques that would help me defuse the situation. Problem is any reaction triggers another scramble for control of the optics. Adults are a lot more difficult than children to work through that kind of jockeying, because you are dealing with peers not young charges. Maybe I should plead a sudden loss of hearing.
My supervisor came back after lunch, which was a nice surprise. He usually is too busy to visit most days, let alone twice. I admit the burn thing has me a little tense, so his presence on site is comforting. The first co-worker I mentioned always has a good word to say about everyone. She commented on how lucky I was to work with someone who was that attentive to my well-being. I agreed and admitted that is why I stayed with the data management company, even with the shortness of work this year. To have a supervisor like that is a benefit that is very rare in this industry. Anyway, my supervisor took a look at the desk himself, and lo and behold the drawers opened when he tugged them. I looked at the library manager with my chin dropping considerably and she just shrugged. My supervisor said it didn't matter though, because what I thought was just an odd sort of keyhole was really just the setting for the lock. The actual assembly had been removed, so it didn't solve anything. He also wanted to see the serial number on the unit because what I had though it was, it wasn't. I commented that it really didn't matter if there was only going to be a week left for me to work per the original agreement. He said he felt it was important and that he would pursue it as best he could.
Confused yet? Well I was. To top it off, the manager of the library had offered me the key to one of her units first thing this morning for the time being, when she understood what was bothering me. We swapped stories of things going missing on the floor, including from my personal belongings. She noted that theft on the floor had been a problem for quite some time, commenting that the person whose departure was the reason I have this contract, had been the first person to mention those problems to her. The manager said she thought stealing from co-workers like that was a sickness, but I had problems with that assessment. Sickness is something one has no control over, stealing doesn't fall in that category. No one who works for the company is too poor to buy food, unless they choose to find themselves in that condition. The motive is more lack of self control or greed, I think. Anyway, the key she gave me first thing in the morning for the unit, seemed to work when I tried it. The flat of the key was on top when inserting it in the lock. When I was preparing to go to lunch the flat of the key had to be inserted facing the floor - the key wouldn't work. She pulled out a second key and tossed it at me. That worked. Two key mysteries in less than an hour - more than I could figure. Too much smoke and mirrors going on, both with personnel issues and with mechanical ones.
At least no one tried to squish me in the rolling files today. Good thing. By the afternoon, my head felt like it was caught in a giant vice - exerting equal and tighter pressure all the time. I was beginning to think I'd lost my head, because I just couldn't concentrate on the work I was doing - very easy straight forward stuff, just detailed. Restlessness and a lack of focus really did a number on me, in terms of productivity in the afternoon, after such a good morning workwise. I felt like Lewis Carroll's "Alice Through the Looking Glass". Got outside at the end of the day and understood at least part of the reason. Wind gusts up to 100 km/62 miles an hour, causing the weather office to issue wind and snow warnings for the region. Of course. It has been nice and warm for the past few days and all the snow has melted. Migraines R us. Good thing it's the weekend.
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