5:18 p.m. - 2003-07-03
Clearing the Decks?
Well dear diary, nightmares for hours late last night and this morning. Not certain why now, but I have a major headache right now.
The first sequence of events occurred in the Middle East - in Syria. It seemed to deal with current events. All I can remember is movement of troops and some kind of undercover activity that resulted in the death of some innocent witnesses. If the Bush people really wanted to address the issue of weapons of mass destruction, they'd be asking the Assad family, but of course one doesn't embarrass a wealthy ally - one that contributes to so many bank accounts hmmmmmm.
The second was a lot more personal. I dreamt of one woman that I knew years ago through volunteer work. There is always one like her on any committee - destructive - never contributing,just tearing down whatever the rest of the group was trying to do - venom tongue. I've never understood why such people would become involved in volunteer work when the last thing they wanted to do was accomplish anything positive.
From what I could see, her behaviour was the same in her marriage and other personal relationships. She died violently by her own hand about four years ago. Fair enough for an adult, if their life feels too overwhelming or unbearable - that is their choice. My faith tells me one has to face those demons eventually at some level, but maybe another playing field is called for - not my right to decide.
What was unforgiveable about her actions, in my own mind, was that she killed herself on one of her children's birthdays. So now I'm having a dream where she is asking for my protection and help moving those children to a safe place. I see us boarding an airplane and it being my task to help make certain no one knows they are there. Her husband and the children dropped out of sight shortly after her death and I don't where they are. From some other endeavors I've been involved in, I don't believe they want to be located and I can't say that I blame them. Sometimes a clean break is the only real option available - especially for the kids in this one.
Flashbacks last week and now this. So why am I having this dream now, what does it mean? Why these two dreams together, they can't be connected in reality so what is the connection in the dreamtime? Sometimes one has to relive a negative period of time in order to let it go. Maybe that's it. Don't know.
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