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1:50 a.m. - 2003-06-07
Ideals
I've been borrowing number four son's discman for work while waiting for mine to be repaired. Pretty generous of him. He's made a point of slipping a CD he wants me to hear from his collection into it before I take off for the day. Thursday was George Thoroughgood(?), Limp Bizkit, Ram Jam, Rammstein, and Judas Priest. Today was Eminem.

We've had words about the last artist in the past. I'd caught a portion of a song, one day, where the stereotypes and generalizations really concerned me - especially when violence seemed to be his answer to the problem. The CD I listened to today was much better and, in fact very well spoken. Controversial social and personal issues to be sure, but mostly focussed on expressing or examining the emotions he was feeling. Helpful for a lot of the kids who would be listening I think. I think that is why my son slipped it in, since it echoes some of his experiences in the past few years. This CD focuses on Eminem's own feelings of betrayal by friends and peers as well as the usual societal issues. Very articulate.

The music just left me feeling sad though. I found myself remembering the story of the Hebrews who fled Egypt with Moses. When he went up onto the mountain to receive the ten commandments, the emigres gathered together their own valuables, melted them down and formed the golden calf. Then they worshipped it as divine. Isn't that what North American society does too? It's a concern raised by young adults in my life whether at home or work on a regular basis. There's an anxiety about not wanting to be sucked into that, but a fear of the consequences of standing aside from all that and being their own person. "I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty." Groucho Marx

What was astute of Eminem to notice and describe, was that that was how he was being presented by the marketers and manipulators, who are using him as the blank screen on which they project images they want the young people listening to worship. Sells their products and ideas at the expense of the artist. I think that is very common, but rarely so clearly described. "Hollywood is a place where they'll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul." Marilyn Munroe

There were things he wasn't picking up on though, that gave me concern. By playing him against some of the people he has relationships with on one level or another, the marketers control his emotional buttons. They also separate him from his personal support network - that's how cults maintain their hold on their followers too. So even though intellectually he can see through them, emotionally and psychologically he is being manouevered to play out a number of stereotypes our society traps young men into, so they can't break free and be themselves. The confusion, frustration and sense of being overwhelmed by it is palpable, and one just hopes this young guy can find the role models he needs - maybe from artists who have gone down the same path before him.

Work today was pretty quiet with everyone in the larger department (about 30 people), but C and I at the team building retreat. The software program I needed to do my work kept crashing so I spent a lot of time dealing with IT; lots of questions from C as well, about the data we're working on - where does it belong, what does that mean? Went out at noon with my two walking partners from the finance department. Just telling stories about our families - lots of laughter. That was fun. Didn't get as much done as I had hoped by the end of the day, but I didn't have control over all the factors either.

I had more time to consider the retreat while I worked and some of the odd evidence that showed up today too. E-mail reminders of meetings we usually attend still arriving, even with the change of schedule. A service not cancelled or attended to by one of the staff, even though the client had obviously made an appointment and clearly expected that their contact would be available. A quickly generated sign on the door noting that the staff were away, sort of as a last minute thought. It all points to haste in pulling the session together. T2 didn't tell me about it until late Wednesday and was unusually frank about there being "issues" that needed to be addressed among the larger group. I don't think, in retrospect, that she knew about it much before she told me. Yesterday, all the full timers showing quite a bit of anxiety about today.

The other curious thing was that the students were being made to go. Is the power struggle also being played out through them? Maybe that explains the comment the student sharing my phone made, about learning to play corporate politics when she first started. I know she was sitting at her desk crying for a while on Wednesday morning. I didn't pry, but just helped her get through the upset, by focussing on something really positive she had taken the initiative to do. Tough industry this one.

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