11:37 p.m. - 2003-04-13
Regrouping
I've been feeling pretty overwhelmed the past few weeks. It isn't the tasks I need to complete at either job or the family obligations. I've always had a full docket of activity by choice. I like variety and change.
What has been difficult the last while is two-fold. First, were the meds the doctor had me on. He changed them about three weeks ago and I have been getting progressively sicker with them. The one was causing so much trouble with joint inflammation that my knee was locking when I sat down so I couldn't stand up, and the pain was significant. I took Friday off because it had worn me down too much and went back to see him. He acknowledged that the one med is known to destroy cartilage and he switched me to something else - almost instant relief. With the other med we altered the dosage and timing so that it wasn't such a problem. It's a lot easier to cope, when pain and concern about one's health, isn't a factor. Slept most of Friday and Saturday to recuperate from the damage.
The second factor, is that much of what happens with my tasks is not in my control either with process or timing. There have been a series of jokes in the "Sally Forth" comic strip lately about that issue. The gist of the story is that people who have less input into the decision making process have much higher rates of health problems and an earlier mortality rate than those who exercise control either directly or through subterfuge. No surprise there.
In the Elections Canada work the issues are technical - I can't complete my tasks any faster than the pace of the realtor who is helping me or the staff I'm currently hiring. The day workplace is worse, because of the dirty politics being played out and the difficulty discerning who is truly doing what to whom. Add in family issues all happening in the same moment and it's hard to sort out the tangle enough to even prioritize tasks.
Now that I've got the pain thing back under control, I've remembered a trick I learned during the nearly 100 hours of labour I experienced giving birth to six babies. When you've reached your limits to cope, concentrate on the next breath in. When that's done concentrate on breathing out. In otherwords, break everything down into it's smallest component and just deal with that one thing. If something happens and you lose control of one inhalation or exhalation just accept it and move to the next one. Know that this too shall pass. Ok, I can do this.
My Dad called about the time he was supposed to arrive today to say that his meeting was going to be quite a bit longer. He sounded discouraged, so I suggested some pithy rejoinders for the negotiations, just to get him to laugh. Decided to go get my grocery shopping done while I was waiting. Good choice. Fresh, sweet smell of rain. Checked out my trees for signs of blossoms. I have a Nanking Cherry tree in the back - south-facing that produces beautiful pink flowers by the thousands near the end of April. In the front I have a Hawthorn tree and some honeysuckles that produce delicate blooms near May Day. Then there's my stalwart - the cottonwood poplar - that protects my home summer and winter. Mid-May is his time. Lots to lokk forward to. Shopping was good today although the prices are still very high lately. Met one of my volunteer buddies there and had a good chat. My Dad was waiting when I got home. Took him out for dinner and then came home.
Doesn't sound like a very exciting few days - does it. But the extra rest and some positive steps make me feel like the rest is doable. That's all I need.
�
�
