11:13 p.m. - 2002-11-29
Regrouping
I'm reading "Embrace Tiger, Return to Mountain" By Al Chung-liang Huang. It's a classical text about the philosophy behind t'ai chi. It is timely, in that it's first principle is to stay focused on the moment and to work with whatever circumstances are present. It is a very calming way to operate. Worry is about future events, most of which will never happen. I know that, but I'd forgotten to remember it. There is a discussion about clouds in one chapter. You can't hang on to them. There is a comic strip that has a picture of a man clinging to a single cloud labeled "the present" suspended in mid-heaven next to a cloud labeled "the future". The caption reads, "I'd rather hang onto the present than grasp at the future." Nothing in the present is forever either. So how does one deal with ambiguity. Go with the flow, stay in the moment, see what is. Truisms and trite from over use, but the essence of the message isn't sullied. "Consider the sparrow.."
I went to city hall today to pick up the most recent planning maps so I can work on the Elections Canada assignment. It's still very warm out so most people were in light jackets or just their shirt sleeves. I'm always surprised how many people travel transit on off peak hours. There is a very different feel to the atmosphere in a compartment depending on the time of day one travels. Mornings tend to have a lot of comraderie among travelers. There are customary seating patterns. Day time travelers tend to be a bit more aloof. Often traveling singly. More alert in terms of what is going on around them - less secure in the safety of the service. Evening fares usually are travelling in groups having a focus on going out to some form of entertainment - movies, theater, sports events and the like. The other component of evening travelers are the night shift workers. They are a very tight knit community and very protective of each other. When I was volunteering I often attended evening meetings - some that went on very late into night like city council - all over the city. I was considered one of the regulars then. Once or twice that protection was necessary and I was grateful for it.
I applied on line for employment insurance as well this afternoon. I've been paying into the Federal program since my first job, other than babysitting, when I was 15. I've never drawn anything back out, so I guess it's ok for a short while. I'd rather be working though. Back to going with the flow and dealing with whatever circumstances are before me - there's a reason things happen the way they do. Maybe the next task for me isn't ready yet. Maybe I'm going to need this regeneration time to draw on in a bit. Maybe there's something I need to read or think about before I can deal with the next endeavor. I guess I'd better just savour the moments I have now.
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