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11:53 p.m. - 2002-10-25
Hope
Note from one of the organizers of our high school reunion: "Don't send anything more complex in structure in French; I don't have a translation dictionary"

My note back: "Don't buy dictionary - I can't spell en Francais."

Music at work today - Ashley MacIsaac, the Mamas and Papas, and Guess Who - sorry Mr. Kravitz, I prefer the original "American Woman".

On my way through Market Square today a book signing and art display. The author - Robert Bateman. He is a renowned painter of wildlife. Long line up of admirers waiting to have their books autographed.

Up the steps of the north escarpment thinking about HOPE. I watched Robin Williams in "Jakob the Liar" the other night. His character - a Jew trapped in the ghetto during WW II - struggled between telling the truth because his conscience demanded it or keeping up a lie that gave the others in the ghetto hope enough that the daily occurrence of multilple suicides had stopped with its first telling. The lie evoking passive resistance/civil disobedience in a whole population who had "no hope" of overcoming their tormentors. Accepting his own execution as a mean to strengthen the others even though he wanted to continue living. A subtle but powerful ending making it difficult to reconcile the emotions it evoked.

Memories surfaced in sequence of the first time I read "Death of a Salesman" and the despair in the final scene. Of when I was volunteering with the local Amnesty International group, hearing about the mothers in South Africa and Argentina who could find the courage to practice non-violence when the government abducted/abused their school-age children to force compliance, even as they publicly shamed their governments in the international press. Knowing the probable consequences to themselves and their families. Choosing to take control of their reactions knowing whether they reacted or not their children would be taken. Not giving up. Reading Viktor Frankl's book "Man's Search for Meaning" - the true story of a psychiatrist who survived life in a concentration camp. He explored the psychology of those who survived the experience and those who simply could not. Dealing with survivors' guilt. Thinking of my Metis friend and the despair of a whole transnational culture - the surviving aboriginals of nearly every Western nation.

How long can one individual fight on without hope, stand the pressure of being a figurehead of a group whose life/culture/purpose is "doomed", making one's life count somehow even when it means a life of despair. Thinking of those who have succeeded. Nelson Mandela, the Dalai Lama, Aung San Suu Kyi, Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King Jr., Mahatma Gandhi and in Canada - Terry Fox, Louis Riel. People who not only accepted the position "assigned" to them by those in power, but who turned it into a powerful stand for change or justice or hope.

Thinking of all those who stand and wait, living in conditions that would overwhelm most of us, never being acknowledged for their strength and courage. Thinking of those who we choose or accept as leaders - reflections of ourselves.

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